Thank you all for your comments.
I guess when you asked vera “whats in it for you ” I can answer that by saying “I got a bit of help for a little while”. I dont want anyone to feel sorry for me but sometimes it is sooo hard being a single mum, working full time in a very emotionally draining and stressful job, running my kids to all their clubs, trying to keep on top of the housework and feeling exhausted at the end of the night. (My family live 1 and a half/2 hours away so they are not on my door step to help).
So what does the CG offer – Help, a break, some of the burden, but I know, I ask myself – but at what cost? I guess my barriers went down and I have been in the dark about what he is up to and I guess I will never know unless it has been illegal or I just havent found out yet.
He is in a mess, still being fraudulent, illegal, and not changing his ways. He is now going to claim illegally by deceiving the benefits agency saying his mental health is sooo poor when he is just manipulating and telling lies so he can get his rent paid for him, his council tax paid for him and lots of money because he is apparently very very anxious all the time and he cant leave his house without support. What a lot of nonsense.
He even turned up to take my son to his football game and was slurring his words and I thought he was drunk (driving his car again). He refused to come up the garden path to see me and when I told my son there was no way he was getting in the car with him, he swore at me and drove away. He has since said sorry but I dont care anymore. Sorry is just a word. He was going to put my son at risk in his car and his explanation “I was hungover and had taken too many anxiety pills”. No excuse. He could have killed someone. His behaviour is awful.
I am keeping him away now. He is not coming back to my house. He had “more of me again” but now it stops. Sometimes people have to go through things again in order to “wake back up and smell the coffee”. I guess I just had blurry glasses on and I havent been seeing things clearly.
Thank you all for reminding me.
I am making new arrangements with one of my neighbours kids who can help with the dog.It will cost me financially but I will just need to manage that and it wont be forever as he wont be a puppy forever. At least I can focus on my recovery again.
I remember saying on my wedding day to him “my love for you will never end” but each time you go through more of this addiction, the love gets crushed more and more and there is little left. Gambling and him destroys it. But he cant destroy me as you are right, I was much stronger before. Now I need to focus on myself and my kids and get there again. (I am crying as I write this as sometimes it hurts soo much)but I promised myself that I was going to have a happier year, no more tears and definitely not allowing the CG to make a fool of me, tell me lies or affect me and my children in any way. But he has.And he is not worth it.
His parents dont even know again and they have been supportive of him again. Why wont he stop being the victim, stop manipulating situations and live in the real world with responsibility and maturity, especially when you are a dad?
It must be exhausting being him with all the fake bits. and yet, he never stops and carries on. I would not like myself if I were him.
So, all my energy needs to be kept for people who are deserving of it, my kids, my friends and family – not listening to my CGs ROT as the posts said .And doing what I can to move on again. I cant change the past but I am in control of what happens next and one thing for sure is that I dont want gambling to be a part of my life ever again. For that, I know for sure
Thanks for supporting me. I really appreciate it