Hi Idi – I’m glad that you are happy! I think your post raises the interesting point about having the gambling problem – is all out abstinence the way to go, or can we gamble in a more controlled way?
I know when I was in GA – ANY form of gambling was frowned upon because (perhaps rightly) it was felt that a win would mean more ammunition for our addiction. But when people ask me when the last time I gambled was I always hesitate. I try and make it clear that I have not gambled ON SLOTS – COMPULSIVELY for around 20 years. So unpacking the latter first, compulsively – because I have had the odd relapse or “slip” (the last being around 8 years ago) but they were one-offs, usually linked to me seeing if I still had the problem. On slots, because some time after feeling I was on top of my gambling addicition I went back to playing the lottery on occasions ( and when I won it didn’t send me to the slot machines), I would do scratch cards if I recieved them as presents (I have never bought one) and the occasional charity raffle. Does doing a charity tombola at a fete mean I am gambling – if so I hold my hand up to that too.
So I think it was important for me to know that I was addicted to slots – but other forms of gambling I could do without the endless cycle of buying more to chase losses etc – even buying more to get the buzz. BUT I went through an experience last year that made me decide to cut out all gambling. It wasn’t gambling per se – but it was an experience that could have meant me winning a large sum of money. It didn’t happen, but the feelings it generated of wanting it and then feeling guilty about it all, made me realise that I am not comfortable with any form of gambling – even any form of competition. So I have gone on to be a purist! But it is my decision based on what I feel comfortable with and not responding to anyone else’s judgement or opinions.
So carry on being happy – enjoy a life without compulsive gambling and if you can find what works for you – go to it.