Hello Maverick.
I woke this morning from a dream. I dreamt I was in my old haunt gambling but not totally absorbed. I dreamt I went to the ATM and took out €50×2. I tried to insert one note into the machine but it was too wide for the slot. It was a FAKE note. I woke up when I got bored standing in the queue to get to the cashier to complain about the fake note. ….It was only a dream, Maverick but I woke realizing how easy it would be to slip back into that dreadful scenario. The same people who gambled in that casino were in my dream. The cashier (called Marie) was as real in the dream as she ever was. She was wearing the same tee shirt with the name of the “casino” (glorified arcade on it). The power of the human mind, even at an unconscious level never ceases to amaze me. I think the fake note symbolizes the “fakeness”of Gambling. The minute I woke up I thought “Maverick will soon have a 100 days behind him”….then I turned on the laptop and saw lots of posts from you! Mental telepathy ,methinks!
The reason my dream was so vivid was because I am trying to wean myself off a sleeping tablet which I have become too dependent on ( you know how “drugs” play tricks on our already fried brains!!) and I took a substitute to replace the original poison. I am highly sensitive to all chemicals. Legal or illegal. This other drug really wrecked my head. I won’t name it. Suffice to saw, I wont take the same dose tonight. Gambling masked a lot of my issues. Without the props we have to face Life single handed. I think lots of CGs use alcohol , cigs and RX medication to soften Life’s blows. The real boxing match begins when we find ourselves in the ring without any gloves. Sometimes we need to fight this addiction bare knuckled. When it fails to get us in reality, it will try to posses our minds in our dreams…..I hate those G dreams!
Saturday will be your 100th day, but it really is only today that matters, Maverick. I think of you a lot. You had a real hard struggle. I know that. Your posts are calmer now. What a difference in 97 days Glad to hear the Therapy in London is working out for you. When you make more progress who knows what will happen with your wife? Maybe it would be good to put things on hold before you make any permanent changes. Life can be full of surprises!
I hear a hen squaking! That means another egg! Hubby brings me home made brown bread and a soft boiled egg in bed in the mornings (or afternoon) when I wake up. I make the bread. He makes the marmalade. The joys of old age!!!!
