I sense your frustration, Monica. I know it can be overwhelming at times, but somehow you are keeping your head above water.
The Social Welfare system is flawed, no doubt. As is the Revenue, Health Care, Banking System, Department of Justice and many other corporate bodies.
The bottom line though, Monica is that gambling is really what brought you and I to our current state.
Yes, I know I am far more fortunate than most but roll back four years and I was exactly where you are today. Maybe not financially (I still had borrowing power –but High Interest borrowing comes at a serious cost to our health and well being) but certainly, emotionally, physically, psychologically and spiritually I had reached the level you describe. I know we can’t compare because everyone’s circumstances are different.
I had lost connection with most people and my health was spiralling downwards. I had HUGE debt and needed to keep my job to service these debts. My boss was on my back and because I had documented her “antics” and submitted them to higher authority , I was seen as a “boat rocker” in a ruthless Service where Senior Management always unite and isolate the “trouble maker”. To add to this shitty mix , I was gambling as if there was no tomorrow……..I won’t bore you with the minutiae of my horror story , Monica. The only thing I had on my side was TRUTH. That is what saved me in the end.
I’m writing this to reach out with a message of Hope this Christmas, Monica.
2017 has not been “your year”. I could name several years that I would prefer to blot out of my life or get a chance to relive. Fifteen in total-my Gambling Years.
Circumstances DO change Monica.
The way I landed a permanent and pensionable job at age 52, was a bordeline miracle and I don’t use the word “miracle” lightly.
Things WILL improve, Monica. I pray for you every day. All you need is that one break. Your turn will come. Believe me.
It took me at least a year before I saw a little financial improvement. I will be two years G free at the end of this month. In some ways my life is better but some aspects are worse.
Life will never be a bed of roses. taking one day at a time and keeping everything simple serves me well. When I allow anxiety and stress to take hold, I begin to flounder.
I thought of you last night , Monica at a GA meeting.
I was looking at the ten men there and remembering some of the experiences you shared. They were all (except one who didn’t want to speak) open, honest, genuine guys who really just wanted everyone to stay away from gambling. I said to myself “I wish Monica was here to witness this”!
