Welcome and congrats on taking the steps to come on here and start your life again. Your start sounds so similar to mine. I used to always win, had some massive wins esp for the amount I put in and wasn’t earning much. But the problem is, it hooks you in the long run the house always wins or they wouldn’t exist! Fast forward 9 years and my hubby and I are earning amazing money and we have nothing to show for it. Over the years I reckon I’m about 500k gone. First year of playing I was 5k up on 50 bets a visit (max). Now when I go it’s maxing the amount I can take out on whatever cards I can find. No one plans that, and if you continue I may be an example of what your life could look like.
what’s done is done. The only way we can move forward is drawing a line in the sand,leave the past in the past. It is never too late to take control. I’m only on day 8 and I’m so proud for not only making the first steps but for changing my thoughts and accepting what’s done is done. You have to give it up eventually, so why not now before more damage is done? You will never quit ahead. Let’s say you walk in tomorrow and by some 1 in a 100 million chance you win a jackpot of 9000, do you really think you could call it quits and walk away forever keeping all that money? You would think “I’m on a winning streak again” and off you go.
Keep posting here, keep your journal. Post your highs and lows and work out your triggers. Keep thinking positive, you have the willpower and strength to get through this!