Hey IDI,
Sometimes when we stop gambling it’s like a stopper has been taken out of our bottle of emotions. For me it happened later in my recovery, i think it can be different for all of us.
I have just read back over your past three or four days of posts ( have a hard time keeping up with everyone!) and I would love to answer them one at a time so I will try and go back and post a few replies .
Let me say you just crack me up with laughter and admiration ! Would love to be having a coffee or a wine.
Your posts are honest and emotional. And we need to get those feelings out. I was able to get into free counselling within two weeks of stopping. She was specialized in addictions treatment but we spent as much time talking about my disfunctional relationship! Sometimes once things are viewed in the light of day and discussed there is a release. An acknowledgement of some things that maybe we are over emphasizing, and other times where we realize what we have been too tired or exhausted to face things that are terrible or hurtful or dissapointing. Big things!
In my relationship I am the score keeper and my husband can forget things quickly. Long sordid painful story which I will not air here!
Some women make a big decision about their relationship once they begin analyzing everything that made gambling the escape it was. Some stay, some go. No one but you knows the answer to that. I would suggest some quality counselling if you can find. They have the expertise and the confidentiality to help you explore your thoughts. Our emotions can really be all over the map!
I hope you have a relaxing evening with your son.
Take care,
Laura