I know it’s only day three. And today doesn’t technically count as I’ve been at work for 13 hours. But I only thought about gambling once today.. I don’t normally anyway when I’m at work.. Unless im p..ed off because im having to work extra to compensate for my own stupidity. But today was different.. I thought about gambling differently. I thought.. I don’t need you (gambling), I don’t want you, I want a life, I’m going change who I am because I don’t like me.. I’m going to meet the new me soon. I know it will be hard. That’s inevitable.. But I think in the end I will appreciate things more.. Maybe more than your average person.. Because whether it’s self inflicted or not… It’s been hard, painful and punishing. So anyone that ever judges a CG… They just don’t get how painful it is.. How damaging it is from within.. To come back from one of the hardest addictions to beat ever.. Is a major accomplishment. So anyone reading this.. Please remind me of this post when I am struggling. I’m not scared anymore.. Just impatient.. I want to feel that achievement now. But I’m not scared of the work.. Cause good things come from hard work right?
