Thanks, Harry. I’ll look to check those Groups out when I’m on early shifts.
I haven’t gambled today. And I haven’t even had the urge. So, today should be a good day, right? I’ve found things really hard. It’s probably because I’ve had a lot of free time on my hands (rota day) and it’s given me chance to reflect on my actions/ mistakes from the past 6 weeks.
I’ve tried to remain positive. Especially with my Partner and family, but inside it’s not so easy. I know in time, things will get better. I just struggle with having the patience in getting through this period with this cloud hanging over me. A cloud of guilt, regret, shame, worry, pessimism.
I have to be careful and not complacent. Addiction can feed off a lot of those feelings. But I don’t feel like gambling. I’m not sure I have it in me to go through it all again. The deceit. The worry. The possibility of winning and what that will eventually lead to. No, I haven’t got the stomach for it.
I’m not one for looking to the future, but I can’t wait for this year to end. I’ve truly screwed things up this year. Just get through these next 5 weeks and things will be better. Counselling on Wednesday to look forward to.
Anyway, I’m rambling a little so this is where I sign off.
Chris