Your advice is priceless and so encouraging! Gambling really does screw up our emotions and we miss so much stuff cause our heads are in the clouds. P, before cg I was emotionally messed up I just did not know it. And then I began to think I was messed because of cg but that just heightened and added to my emotional state. Even when I am cg free I can feel numb. And I am seeing a counsellor speaking about some of these things but not in depth. I will need to begin to work on topics so she can help me.
Fear, never heard of that substance hmmmm interesting. With my recovery if I have a desire to stop and I get the urges I am getting better at fighting them by just reminding myself that gambling causes damage and no money is worth it. And it worked for the past 10 months. I will need to put in new steps and find new ways to cope.
Im not sure about GA never been drawn to it, don’t think it is for me. But I do need to be with people who understand and who I can connect with in order to move on. Right now I am not making any decisions to do anything except to decide not to cg.
The rewards thing is great although, right now still in punishment mode, not feeling to treat myself to anything. I have all these social gatherings coming up and I have to make up excuses because I just dont have the money to go out. Everyone wants to have lunch or dinner etc etc…..so yeah, this is the decision I made.
P, it really touched me when you said I am a good person. This means more then you will ever know, in fact your message made me teary. It is so hard living with shame and also dealing with being part of a family that has never understood me and who I just can’t seem to reconcile with. My heart has been breaking, mind has been shutting down and I am physically drained. And of course I cant go anywhere to clear my head because I dont have the money.
Another day to being clean #day2 🙂