*Some banks have specialists who deal with gambling addicts.
Hi J
You say in your post, “Others do so because they have hope, and not because they know?”
And is it the case that you know?
NOBODY KNOWS what the future holds, not even you.
People have hope, because they know that even people in your sorry position can and do turn their lives around.
It isn’t easy, but neither is it impossible.
At this moment in time you sound panic stricken and don’t know which way to turn. You will be finding it hard to think straight, hard to accept that you, yes you could just lose all that money. You probably knew when you were gambling you were going to lose it all, even when down to the last couple of grand stopping was out the question. Just in case.
Just in case what though?
A big win, people do win, don’t they? Not people like us jaquespaul. You have the same condition as me, you are a compulsive gambler. Stupid title to be branded by really. Gambling isn’t compulsory, although, by the sounds of it, you, just like me, behaved just like it was! A big win though there’s a thing. Hold on didn’t you have one a few months ago, gee whizz look where thats got you, I wouldn’t be in too much of a hurry to go looking for another.
I can’t advise you either way, but if you go to the doctors it is possible that they could refer you to the national gambling clinic.
Until you clear your head a little bit, I would suggest you get all the support you can.People to talk to.
I don’t doubt for one minute you were serious in your suicide threat. I’m afraid to say I’ve been there. I felt like “whats the point in even trying, I’ll only end up doing it again, I’m a f* up, this is my lot in life”. Two of those attempts were in hotels that I couldn’t pay the bill for. Once it was vodka and sleeping tablets on the cross channel ferry, imagine the shame 7 days later getting released from hospital and having to go to the docks to get my car back.
My gambling helped turn me into a criminal, I’ve lost many jobs through stealing from work. I’ve been to prison 5 times and rehab 3 times. Not long after the last time in rehab I went back to crime. I didn’t plan to, I just let the gambling take me. I was so close to prison again, and why? For stupid bloody gambling.
I understand the suicidal thoughts, I don’t have hope Jaques. I do know. I do know that people like you can change, and that people like you do change.
You might think you’re not worth the effort, and that you’ll always be like this. You don’t have to be. You can change, the hardest part for me wasn’t actually the not gambling, it was the learning to believe I could change.
I gambled for over 35 years and in that time I had become quite used to listening to my own bullshit and lies, I’d say things like, “just another half an hour” or “one last fifty quid” I’d still be there hours later after countless last fifty quids. So when I was telling myself that actually I had a choice and I could say no, and that I could change I didn’t really believe myself.
After lots of attempts at stopping and crashing I began to believe in that choice, and I have learned to say “no”
I think if you’re feeling so low in the morning you should go to the docs, he might even give you a week on the sick. I’m a great advocate of telling people of my situation, if you work for a big concern with an HR dept. they may have a counsellor. I think its imperative you talk to someone asap. If you find it too much tonight the Samaritans are always there.
If so many people are telling you that there is hope, and things will get better there must be an element of truth in it. Most of us on here because we’ve been in very similar situations.
You have positives. A job, a roof over your head. You can work hard and keep these.
All the best
Geordie