Thanks for all the comments seeing a new comment or 2 each time I access this journal is already giving me added motivation. Talking is really helping something I’ve never done
In response to your comment steev that’s great advice my dad has reached out to me who knows all about my gambling and has tried and tried and tried to helping me even bailing me out of fmtricky financial situations in the past. He has said he wants my wages to go in his bank , this was very hard for me to swallow I’m 29 with my own home, partner 2 beautiful boys and a great career yet I have to pay my wages in my dads bank as I cant be trusted . This hurt my pride a lot and I battled against it in my head until I saw the positive and the shame of that overrode the shame of losing £100s of pounds each day or each week for the past 16 years and I’ve accepted his offer.
I have looked for good gaming blockers as all I use is my phone but they seem to have really bad reviews and can corrupt your phone , I am blocked from all my online casinos and bookmakers currently but I know how easy it is to find a new one at the drop of a hat so help or advice in this area would be very welcome.
Again the local bookmakers is like a little community as we all know and I’m popular and well liked in there as win or lose I’m jolly and friendly on the outside but they dont see the hurt going on inside my head, self excluding from there will be damn hard but it’s a must . So much to do but Rome wasnt built in a day .
I’ve just left the gym , the gambler in my brain is saying just go and win some fuel money or some of uesterdays money back etc etc, I guess these cravings will only get harder is this what they call withdrawal.
One thing I must ask to all the people that have battled this or in the process do the thoughts ever stop even when like 5 or 10 years clean or are they there daily and how do u approach this. I know this is very early days but my brain scares me as gambling is all it has known and wants to do. I know in the pub it will even say a pound in bandit is ok go on …… hope this make sense and thanks again to everyone I’m really seeing light at the end of the tunnel and this forum is so welcoming.
Stevie.g