Hi jenny
It was good to see you in group last night. It was very busy with a few techical issues. I have been using the group for many months and always find it a great place to offload with those that really understand.
I can really empathise with your situation , actions and guilt. I cried reading your post as I completely understand You have spent along time thinking of others and your CG. He has spent along time thinking only of himself. It is difficult to change behaviour. I didn’t realise I was stuck in a cycle until I came across the CG cycle and then f&f cycle posted by velvet on here. The penny dropped. I have started to change my behaviour in recent months , it is slow but it now means I seem to ‘live’ more rather than ‘cope’ or get through. I’m only telling you all of this to illustrate that things can improve. I was so low, tearful had been living with gambling for about 10 years . my cg had left me and our daughter (then 3) after an argument and gone back to his moms (he is still there)I didn’t know how to change. But looking after yourself message finally has started to get through and make sense!
I completely agree that moving on is difficult but living with an addict is worse.
Keep ur chin up
M x