Dear Jrb,
I can understand how you feel, and hope my honest confession helps. I was not a good example, I actually wasted and lost many years in early recovery because I do not trust people easily and I don’t have a God, I thought it was all a bluff.
I met an elderly recovering man clean for more than 10 years, he explain to me that our solution was a spiritual one. He told me that a religious person may not be spiritual but a spiritual person can be religious and recovery is a spiritual program.
Those practicing the 12 steps recovery program, God in the book refer to a Higher Power greater than us. It can be a person, a group, a place, a recovery program or a thing. For many people practicing the program who do not have a faith or religion, it can be as simple as GOD = good orderly direction, universal rule of spirituality is to do no harm.
I was introduce to this program way back in 2005, I was not enthusiastic at all, I feel that it doesn’t work for me, it can be frustrating, I didn’t want to do it but I continue to see people around me practicing it get well, it gave me hope, I just keep trying. It was only in 2013 when I found my Higher Power in working the step that I start to see major changes in my life. My recovery is just beginning, my personal experience working the steps now found it very real and rewarding.
I am so sorry and can feel the pain and stress in your life now. I will pray for you.
I hope you too, will find comfort and support from the nice people in here.
Thank you for allowing me to share. God bless!
