I know giving up control is difficult and seeing him buying stuff brings up feelings of “fairness” for you. But you aren’t gambling at the moment and that it the big thing.
You do seem to alternate in how you feel about your relationship – close and then far apart. Talking about your feelings when you are close may help, as may bringing in a third party – either you talking to a counsellor or seeing someone together. Remember he is in recovery too – he is getting used to the new you who is not gambling but is (probably) emotionally in turmoil because of not gambling and not using the usual prop to deal with the stuff – both of the here and now and of the past.
It is great that you are posting about your feelings here and that you are open to others commenting. I hope you can take something from what I have said and discard that which doesn’t speak to you. Go well.