Did hardly no work yesterday so no much needed money earned. My rent looms on the horizon and I still have only paid half of last months rent. Gas / Electric is due. Council tax screaming hard. Only been here less than 2 months in the flat and already its out of control.
I took a drink to blank out the pain. Was too drunk to work when I got home. I forgot to eat last night. My stomach is in bits. This morning self excluded from another casino. But they are many more out there.
Today I try again. Downloading some software I need for a project I want to launch. Will work to try earn something towards rent payments. Also I have a son who lives abroad. Miss him terribly. He was over for my mums funeral. I promised him I would be over soon to see him. That has not happened so far.
Its cold outside and my flat is in chaos …. it all seems to be falling apart. Cold turkey again today. No booze no gambling. But its always easy to adhere to abstinence when you feel like hell.