Dear Optimism,
I hope you are still here reading and looking into some type of gambling support like gamblers anonymous and addictions counseling. I’m sorry for my late response! Thanks to being in recovery I have been able to do things lately I never thought possible. Like travel.
I can tell you the hard decisions I made to help me stop gambling. But first I had to know that I couldn’t gamble again. If I did it was going to take from me all of the most wonderful things in my life like my marriage, my relationships with my children, and my family. Maybe you kept thinking somehow you could handle it. You could control it. But once we cross that line and become addicted we will never be able to do that again. So please take the hard steps needed to put yourself back in the drivers seat of your life. Give up control of finances to someone you trust. When we are in a weak moment we can give in so easily. Especially in the first months of withdrawal and emotions. As i first said, get support from GA or other support group. Find a good counselor. Perhaps your wife needs some support as well. Some counseling. You can come back from this and have a quite normal life. Please know that. But you have to fight for your wife and your self. Please keep posting. Sometimes things get a little quite around here and it takes time. I hope you are doing ok.
Laura