Dear (((nacole)))! I fully understand what those posts of support mean to you, as I lived on this site for the first 2 years of my recovery. I wondered if I was getting addicted to this site. I decided that if I was becoming addicted to this site, it was a far healthier addiction than gambling. It’s really hard to think about what you could be doing once gambling urges hit, so I made up a list of other things to do instead. I had a jigsaw puzzle going on my dining room table, books to read, some of which were about addiction and mindfulness, small chores, people to phone and catch up with, etc. I also put in barriers such as reducing my ATM limit to $100, as I didn’t feel that was enough to go gamble with. I asked that my cash advance on my credit card be removed, as I was always maxing it out every month. You can probably relate to this living in a small town. You just know that everyone that works in your bank knows you are a compulsive gambler, but yet you go in there and withdraw large sums of money often. I always felt like I was being judged by most of the tellers. When I was feeling that I had gambling urges, I stayed home till the banks were closed so I couldn’t go in there and withdraw money to gamble. That could also be a strategy for you to use. I used to take my dog(s) to town with me as I would not let my dog sit in my car when the weather was hot or cold. I would take my grandchildren with me, so that I couldn’t go into the vlts to play. I learned how to pay my bills online. I’m sure that you will be able to come up with barriers to help you in your recovery journey. It takes time to learn about recovery, but you can learn so much by reading other people’s threads. I live in Canada; which country do you live in? What hobbies did you have before you became a compulsive gambler. I used to machine quilt, flower and vegetable garden, scrapbook, and make jewellery which my daughter and I sold at craft shows. None of these activities interested me anymore so it’s been hard to find replacement activities. I went through the whole Michael’s craft store and didn’t see anything that interested me to start doing as I used to be a crafter before and did cake decorating, made wreaths and other crafts, painted intricate ornaments, did stamping cards, and who can remember what else. I do enjoy reading and always have, and have to admit I’m an evening TV addict for crime shows mostly. Seeing as I can’t find a hobby besides reading, I have decided to do volunteer work in the coming year for habitat for humanity, even though I can’t hit a nail on the head with a hammer. I’m sure I’ll learn!!! I can tell you that playing free slots online will only increase your desire to gamble for real money. I’m just trying to impart some of the mistakes and successes I’ve made in my recovery journey. Keep doing this day by day and moment by moment if that’s what you need to do. This may seem like a foreign concept to you, but reward yourself as often as you can. Many of us have felt that we could reward ourselves by gambling for staying gamble free for a time. It seems insane but that’s what our addiction will tell us. It’s much better to buy a bottle of nailpolish, get a manicure or a pedicure, get a good haircut, buy a piece of clothing, a new eyeshadow, a journal or a book, go to a movie, go to a restaurant, etc. If you live close enough to a casino to drive there, get yourself self-excluded for as long as they allow. I self-excluded for 5 years. Some people ask a spouse or family member to manage the finances for a time till they get strong enough to handle money again. And if you have the household financial responsibilities and your husband is not willing to assume that, make sure he knows how to check your account online so that you can be held accountable. That is usually a pretty good deterrent for a lot of people. You’ll figure out what you need to stay gamble free and what barriers you need to have in place. These are just suggestions that have helped me. You can do this! Carole
