Dear Jds
You sound as though you are going round and round like a bee trapped in a jar unable to find your way out.
At the moment you are struggling to find work, you have money worries that you don’t deserve and you feel rejected by your mother and ill-used by your father. Any one of those things would distress and confuse the best of us.
Life is often tough J but if we deal with one worry at a time we can eventually see where we are going.
The following comes from the Gamanon support book and is one of my favourite pieces:-
YESTERDAY, TODAY, AND TOMORROW.
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry: two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.
The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise or poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow’s sun will rise, either in splendour or behind a mask of clouds – but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This leaves only one day – TODAY. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of these two awful eternities – yesterday and tomorrow – that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad – it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us, therefore, LIVE BUT ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Don’t try and deal with everything at once J. If you decide to tell you mum, do it and see how it goes first before you worry about your dad’s or your brother’s reaction – you can deal with them if and when you need to do so.
If you feel getting the job is your way out of your predicament then stop worrying about your mum’s, your dad’s or your brother’s reaction and look after yourself.
If you decide to sort your debt out, then go to the CAB for advice or contact the debt companies and tell them how and why this debt occurred. Do not worry about your father’s reaction if you do this – you are protecting yourself from his poor behaviour and saving him from facing the consequences of his addiction is not going to help him.
Keep posting – you will get there – have faith in yourself, you are obviously bright and caring – you can rise about your parent’s behaviour and live the life you want to live.
Velvet