Dear Gem
And a big hug from me too (((Gem)))
Your post was sad but there were positives in it and all positives are great. The fact that your husband is realising that you are there is actually a big step, many F&F do not get that feeling for a long time into their loved ones recovery. It appears that he wants to work hard for a gamble-free life and in the early days that is the only behaviour that can be hoped for.
I understand the feelings of being undervalued, disrespected and unloved and it was a revelation for me to discover that I was none of these things following my CGs time in rehab. I hope that you will get to feel this too but it takes time. I think that understanding a little of what the addiction does to a CG’s brain goes a long way toward helping us to feel better.
I can imagine that the experience of your father might have magnified your fears but it is important to remember that your husband is not your father – sorry if that sounds trite, I hope you know what I mean! Has your husband given you a hug since all this blew up – if not, he may be feeling that cooking the dinner is a form of hug, or that he doesn’t deserve one. How are you getting on with talking to each other – opening and keeping lines of communication clear can make a big difference.
Keep posting Gem – you are being heard and cared about.
Velvet
