Dear Clo,
Welcome to the forum, I wanted to send you a reply because your issues regarding gambling seem very similar to mine.
In your post, it appears that your partner is still very actively gambling, although you dont say this, the “extra” £10 for gambling online seems to suggest that gambling online is the norm for your partner?
You are already doing a lot of the right things in making sure that you have control of the finances and are paying the bills. How would your partner stop you from getting his pay packet? Are you reliant on him handing it over to you?
Gambling has the power to pull down everyone in its way. Including you and your partner. It shows no mercy. So I am not at all surprised that your mood is low.
If your partner is as active as it sounds, he will have little/no regard for your feelings or any support you might need, There is not enough space for that and for gambling too.
Regarding the help, you can exhaust your self looking for solutions (believe me I have tried) but unless your partner wants the help and wants to stop, you could offer all the help in the world and it would not be enough. This is tough for me to say but its only because I know the Cardiff area well, that Newport isn’t so far away that the support available isn’t accessible? To me, the Newport/Cardiff problem sounds like it could be an excuse and a way for him to get you off his back about therapy.
You are doing really well and I am glad you have found support here. Please keep posting. I look forward to hearing from you again.