Dear Ann
I am sorry to say you have given the most difficult reason for your partner to stop gambling and that is an enabling family member who is doing everything wrong for all the right reasons. As long as his mother is baling him out the longer she will keep him locked into a cycle of addiction – she is making it very difficult for him to change his life.
I’m afraid I am not in a position to reply to your housing situation which is beyond the remit of this site. I suggest you contact CAB or a solicitor if you decide to follow the path of separation.
When you talk to people in authority about your concerns, please don’t feel ashamed – your partner is the victim of his addiction, he did not choose to own something so terrible. I think there is a tendency to believe that when this happens to ‘you’ that you are alone and that others will not understand but the CAB and solicitors are aware of this addiction and I believe you will find the support you need.
If you decide to stay Ann there will be tremendous support for you here but likewise there will be no judgement if you decide to leave. If you were in a private group with me, I would ask you if you love your partner but it is probably not something you would want to write on a public forum – maybe it is worth thinking about however.
Your partner can change, he can live an honest gamble-free life if he chooses to but if you feel there is no hope of a future then I understand. I would ask that whatever you decide to do that you give him directions towards help such as this site, counsellors and GA, all who are willing to support him,
Please speak again soon – such decisions are tough whichever way you go but whatever you do I wish you well.
Velvet
