Lots of us have posted intensely on this forum, and then gambled, and then decided to stay away until we’ve got a few days/weeks/months of clean time behind us. I think its a common trait. I could probably name at least ten of us without having to think too hard. I’m sure all ten of us would tell you it seemed like a good idea at the time, but when we eventually did return it was off the back of yet another gamble. Not a slip, a gamble. Usually a lot worse than the one we ran away from, or maybe weeks or months later from the same binge.
Its just I noticed on mavs thread you said you weren’t coming back for a while. I’d hate to think it was until you’d built up some clean time.
The reason we do that I think is because we dont want to hear things we already know, we dont want people pointing out the bleeding obvious, we dont want condescending posts off other CG’s. We want to be left alone to get our “heads straight” . This mate is just another illusion. That might be what we think we want, but isn’t it the case that for years we’ve done what we’ve wanted to do and now find ourselves as mature adults with our lives in tatters. All because we’ve always done what we’ve wanted. If we always do, what we’ve always done, we’ll always get, what we’ve always had.
What we really need is people to talk our situation through with, maybe not another CG, a counsellor or at least a good listener. When we keep things to ourselves is often where more trouble stems from.
I mentioned on mavs thread that I dint think it wise for you two to be talking on facebook. Nothing personal against you but you are both brand new to recovery, you have both recently gambled. The help and support I would think you both need should be coming from people who have had a strong recovery for a while. I’ve been round the block a few times I know how these conversations go. When I first left rehab I was in a half way house with a mate who had left a few weeks before me. I gambled in my first week there, but I put into practice things I learnt in rehab stopped myself short of spending all my money..went back to the rehab to confide in my mate, unfortunately he was waiting to confide in me, he’d done the same. We ended up in the bookies, he never made any serious attempt to stop since. I’ve made a few. I don’t gamble now, he still does. I’ve had many conversations with other cgs when either one or both of us have recently gambled, the conversation quickly turns into romanticising and justifying gambling.
Of course you are both grown men and can make you’re own minds up, but should you?
Its well documented through out this site that we act quite irrationally after gambling sprees, and our thoughts are clouded.
I’m not blaming your facebook contact for mavs gambling but I do know that if you were mentioning sums of money like you did on his thread, that this can sometimes serve as a huge trigger to some gamblers. The thing is though the sums involved really are irrelevant. A man could earn £100 a week but spend £120 gambling he’s a lot worse off than a man who earns £4000 and gambles £3500. I think there was once a topic group about this.
Hope you’re not away too long, for your own good.
(I probably wont post for a few days now, but I’ll still be talking to people about what goes on for me, but I have early starts and long days ahead.)
Geordie.