Thanks for your replies and wise words Velvet and Johnny B, you both share some great points!
Still feeling pretty down about the 11k jackpot loss. It’s so hard to accept my own stupidity, why the hell did I gamble it all back, I’m an idiot! I could have bought me a nice watch, a car, I could have paid almost two years of my rent, dining out, took my girlfriend for nice holiday, but no, I blew 11000+ euros in an instant. Sad and sickening. I have to work at least 10 months to make that back.
Maybe the good thing in my situation is that I fully acknowledge that the chances of me hitting another jackpot like that with a 5$ spin is next to none, and the realization of the low odds are something that I can use to push me away from gambling totally. I’m not even worried about the gambling, I know I can fully stop it, I’m just worried that I can’t mentally never get over this loss at this point.
Maybe this feeling is something that will ease after time passes by, I literally have no other options than to suck it up and wait it to (hopefully) ease.
I heard a good term yesterday on the internet from a former gambler who experienced a similar situation as me. She won probably close to my amount and lost it all the next week. She called her situation a “motivating crisis”. After the loss she totally stopped gambling, turned her life around and is now a tutor in GA meetings, and doing supposedly good in her life.
I want my loss to be a similar positive experience in the long run. My diet has been the first step and I’ve been 100% discipline with myself and already feeling better physically. I also plan on writing a book this year and making some music.