Had a disgusting relapse last night. First time in my life, I took a quick loan of 1k and gambled it all away.
The saddest thing was that I was playing in calm manner and with moderate bets and was almost 4.5k ahead, but eventually started to gamble recklessly and lost it all. I could have paid my debts and have extra money if only could I have stopped sooner (I guess us CG:s never learn). I planned in my mind to take 3.5k away no matter what, but I reneged and lost it all. I didn’t even want to chase the whole 10k, and would have been (surprisingly) happy with couple of extra thousand, but eventually for some adrenaline-rushed moment I broke my own rules and lost it all in couple of minutes. I guess greed got the best of me.
Next couple of months are going to be financially hard. I’ll try to stay positive and learn from my mistakes. This is a sick addiction.