On day 74. I don’t think about gambling much these days. It’s weird but I just don’t think about it. I do think about how life would have been way more set up had I not lost so much. But all and all I feel better. I had to leave Belize a week early because I got a great job offer with promotion and more money. Unfortunately I jumped to another tax bracket and actually get a little less on my pay checks. A very high class problem I suppose. I’m still about 8 grand in debt. I downed a canoe with my laptop on it. That only cost $2500. Life has been pretty difficult after my surgery. My back aches and my nerve damage seems to not get better. It might have something to do with me not wanting to gamble. But I don’t know I just know I can’t gamble. Yesterday at work the HR department sent out an email to everyone and it said that they have a march madness pool and who wanted to join the pool. I was a little amazed that the company promotes gambling but then realized that’s our society and I clearly am an addict that is in major recovery. Obviously I did not partake. A lady cut in front of me in line the other day. I didn’t get upset but wanted to say something and usually do but for some reason i was curious what she was in a hurry for. She gets to the counter and pulls out a scratched lotto ticket from her pocket. She cut in front of me not for gas or something else but to gamble. She was in the fog and I could see it written all over her. The gambling fog… we all know it so well. She put it on the counter and it was worth $20 she said give me two tens and four fives and put down $20 bucks on the counter and I realized that i felt bad for her and that i too could buy a lotto ticket but I just paid for the sunblock and gas and moved on with my day.
Thank you for your posts. Charles, thanks for checking in. I honestly haven’t done much in the way of recovery accept not gamble. I used to go to gamble anonymous but really it’s don’t have the time with work. Thankfully I just don’t want to gamble anymore and have been strong enough to stay away. I think i relapsed 5 or 6 times easy in the last 9-12 months but this is the strongest I’ve felt yet. I will go to a ga meeting when the time permits. I have to run to work now.
I hope anyone reading isn’t gambling and is slowly getting things back in order. Peace to all.