Definitely had major urges today.
Triggers: Going to visit a relative in the city, closer to my “favourite” casino. Going there alone. It’s what I’ve been doing the last while every time I go there.
What I did differently: Took all cards and money out my wallet except what I needed cash wise. Took my licence out of my wallet so I couldn’t go to a bank in person to get money (done that before). Wrote out my plan before I went there. Made plans for immediately afterwards so I had no time to go after the visit. Drove a different way home.
All in all, did not gamble. Well I bought a $5 scratch ticket. I haven’t scratched in yet. A minor setback compared to my usual $2000 deposit I was making weekly to the casino.
Still mad at myself. Still wrestling with my demons. Trying to believe everything will be ok as long as I don’t gamble. Gambling will not help. It does not helped and it hasn’t helped me so far.
