I’m on day 6 in my recovery journey. So far so good. I’m still getting nightmares but I’m feeling happy. The support I’ve received on here has been amazing. I absolutely agree with the points lizbeth and vera made regarding urges and sharing. If someone I love has a major problem such as CG, then I’d love to hear about it, yet, I keep my CG a secret. Seems a bit irrational and illogical. But for me, this is where I am and this is what I need to deal with, only me.
I’ve read some great posts over the weekend, especially those written by danchaser from 8-9 months ago. Does anyone know if he’s still around? His entries really resonates with me because it seems like he went through the same sportsbetting and blackjack binges and urges. I sure hope he’s okay since I haven’t seen any posts for 6 months. He posted these three laws that I will incorporate into my life:
1) I have a gambling problem.
2) I can never gamble again, no matter what.
3) I will always lose in the end.
I know #1. #2, I’m still thinking that I can purchase stocks and invest or the long term or play in a single poker tournament because the outcomes are isolated. It MUST be black and white! no grey areas. #3, despite ample evidence, I don’t think I still believe that #3 is a law. In the last binge, I actually made over $10k, despite losing $34k out of $44k winnings. However, I know that if I continue betting, then I will lose the rest. So I wonder if it was good for me to stop with my winnings because it’s a recipe for me to come back later.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Thank you.