Thanks for the comments all, the only reason I don’t go counselling is because I went to a psychiatrist for this before and it doesn’t feel like it works for me I think the group setting of GA and sitting through it with people that also have the same problem and working through it is perfect for me.
Birthday was yesterday, thank you 🙂 Happy birthday to you as well for this Sunday.
I’ve been going good lately, however I keep getting thoughts of “What could’ve been” with throwing away the last 10 years gambling. And that feeling when you finally stop however now stuck with gambling debt is haunting me a little bit. However I’ve found strength in the fact that I’m quitting for good and now that I’ve turned 30 it feels like a new chapter of my life, and I even told my self that all the debt is nothing aslong as I don’t gamble again, I’ve accepted the debt now but I think if I relapse into gambling it will make it hurt even more so I’m going to try my absolute best and keep going to the GA meetings. I couldn’t go yesterdays one (it’s Tues / Thurs and Sun) but that’s because my wife has come back from overseas so I’ve been a bit pre-occupied with settling her back in etc.
I did also have a chat with her and told her what’s occurred in the past two weeks and have also told her that I’m now doing GA, etc and she’s on board with it. I think as long as we’re doing something to better ourselves and become more productive and get away from gambling then our loved ones will support us, but if we keep throwing that away and they go from angry to feeling sorry for us then that’s when it’s probably a few days away from them leaving. My mum is talking to me although haven’t spoken with my dad since they found out but I’m glad everything is out in the open and that I’ve finally accepted the problem and that I’m doing something about it.
I have been having a lot of thoughts of going back just to try win some money back but the thoughts of my family and loves in my head are stronger at the moment, as well as me not wanting to let any of the crew down at GA, it feels like we’re all accountable for each other.
One day at a time folks!