Wow..40 days and 40 nights. I am very happy to be where i a at the moment. i look back to day number one, when I felt like a piece of it and everything was on the brink of breaking up. Today I am in a much much better mental and spiritual place. Bit by bit i will put my life together.
it has been an easy two days..it is freezing cold..so there are no edges to go out or anything..just going from work and back to be with family is good enough.
A couple of days ago as i was scrolling Facebook, I came across a quote ” The point of Buddhism is to teach us that we are all capable of much more than we might believe we are” ~ Mogan Freeman. So I Googled a bit about Buddhism and come across one of Ajahn Brahm’s youtube video–The four ways of letting go. It was so inspiring to me and in a way has validated the principles I have used to get to day 40.
Firstly, I have stopped to beating myself up about how much I have lost, what i could have done with the money, how far behind I am compared to my varsity friends and son. I have choose to let go and deal with the issues of the day..and so far it has worked for me. I used to feel so awful that, although i have earned more than an average South African for the past 8 years..i have nothing tangible to show for it except huge debts..i have never bought a house and this was killing me..but today I have accepted it and moved on. When i pray, I say God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change. I think God has granted me that serenity and I am so grateful about it. The other good thing that I loved about this video was to work on changing my attitude so that my work environment is not my prison. He taught me that, no matter how hard it is..or what anybody does, I can be able to rise above any situation..no matter how bad it is.
I will recommend it to anyone, not only recovering addicts, but these are amazing amazing teachings ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USC5MJVZLy8 or google “Fourways of leeting go”.
I am looking forward to the weekend, nothing major planned but just to sit and hangout with my family is something to look forward to.
One day at a time, we will get there eventually. God bless you all and have a wonderful weekend away from gambling.