I am trying to think of each day as soon as I wake up as a gamble free day. Come here, write before the day is over and check in with myself. Before, I would wait until the end of the day to consider it a “gf” day but I hope starting my day as a new gf day will be a better strategy for me.
There is a big snow storm here which normally I would hate but it is keeping me inside the house, no thoughts of gambling at all. Also, it is way easier when my husband is here. Especially now that he knows I have not stopped. I can’t sneak away. And honestly, right now, I don’t want to.
No thoughts of gambling today, so far. Just of making things right. I know I have to be honest but I also think I need to show actions too. Admitting what I have done is one thing, about the past but acting differently today is what will change the future.
I am trying to be kinder with myself. AT least for now. After all I’ve been through, I deserve to be gentle with myself. No one is a harder critic on me than me and ME needs to lighten up a bit!
I’m not belittling my situation, I understand the gravity of what has happened and where I am at but maybe a kinder approach to myself would give me the courage to actually quit this thing.
I have started journaling not just here but in a notebook and realizing I have a lot of issues to deal with. I’ve also posted some positive quotes around my office, to help me stay on track and not forget the person I want to be and try to stop focusing so much on the person I’ve become.
I am about 5 hrs behind this forum I think but I am going to try to get into a chat one night/day if I can figure out the timing.
