I’m now on my fourth day and I’m feeling happy. I’m currently sat doing some work and later I’ll be spending time with family. The work means I’ll be able to send out an invoice on Friday, making me a tiny bit more comfortable financially. It will either go straight towards bills or a loan payments, but they’ll get paid and that’s what matters.
It hurts me to know how much damage I’ve done to myself and how much debt I’ve built up. It’s going to take me a long time to recover now. That’s when I used to think, I’ll gamble and see if I can win back some of my losses. I can rationalise now and know that gambling will only make things worse. Instead I need to accept that progress will be slow but as long as the debt total continues to go down instead of up, that means I’m doing well.