Day 315 – Seems like not so long ago me and I did it were buds. How quickly things change… Similar to gambling. With the drop of a dime and a bad decision the house can come crumbling down. The nice thing about having a argument/debate/miscommunication we can talk it through and forgive and forget. With gambling it’s a bit tougher.
This place has offered me a place to write my thoughts and diary things in a safe forum that I can reflect on later and in times of need or when an urge comes. It has been great. I also love reading and relating to a bunch of others on here that are experiencing or have experienced some of the same issues, pains, emotions, feelings, etc., that I’ve experienced that a lot of people out there just don’t get. But with that seems to have come a couple disagreements about how I’m supposed to feel, our my methods of recovery, that I feel money is important, or something I’ve said or how I’ve said it, etc., that can be distracting from what the real purpose of me being on here is to me. I’m totally cool hearing peoples thoughts and theories on everything and prefer it rather than not hearing. I would not be where I am today without that advise, this forum, my family, my conviction, my back surgery, and working a plan day to day while taking small steps towards getting a life back together. I also realize that people aren’t asking specifically for my advise and help. I’m kind of just offering it and expecting people to take it serious. I think I’m going to stop doing that as I’m not sure I’m qualified to offer anyone advise. And maybe I’m not that good at accepting criticism. The one thing I know deep down is that I wanted to stop gambling, I needed to stop gambling. Sure I had a lot of wonders on what life would be like without gambling and had been gambling so long thats all that I knew. Well I stopped gambling for some time now things seem pretty normal. It’s the same stuff with just no gambling. I have noticed that relationships are better. That I’m doing better at work, but even that has it ups and downs.
Sorry for the rant. I guess what I’m trying to say is I come on here to write. To be accepted. And to talk to others. I can be hard headed. I can be a pain. I can be jerk. But at the end of the day I do care about my recovery and everyone else’s. I sincerely apologize to everyone on here if I have been a thorn in your side at times. I sometimes am no nonsense but then can also get sensitive when someone is no nonsense with me. This is definitely something I need to think more about and probably make some adjustments.
Anywho I feel pretty good about day 315. Back to work for me. I took a job today so I’m off and running again. Thanks I did it for your welcome advise. Thanks Vera, Geordie, Maverick, P, Mark, Charles, Monicau and the many countless others on this site who have been caring to ,e and have offered me advise when I needed it and a lot of times didn’t listen. I’m grateful for all of you.
