Yersterday was a really tough day for me..I was just an emotuonal wreck and easily breaking down. I dont know how many times my eyes were full of tears while attendinf the conference. Triggered by many things. I met some of my varsity friends..they have made so much progress in thier careers..executive head of this..chief technical what what..and i t got to me..feeling sorry for myself. There was also a social media article about a former soccer star that askes people to pray for him because he is a gambling addict..he was just mocked and laughed at by so many people. It just brought tears to my eyes.
I want to get out of the emotional down state..so I put my best outfit to the conference and looked really clean. The way delegates responded gave me some boost. I also worked on building and improving my relationship with my boss..send a couple of emails apologising about non submission of some tasks..and thanking him for sending me to this conference..he must have been really suprised..we despise each other..but i am going to commit myself to resolving that.
I sent a “Hi” message to my wife..ifcourse she did not respond..I I felt so empty in the evening. I was supposed to attend this dinner..but i just could not. I also wantee to avoid alcohol..bevause i have already noticed where the casino is. I missed my familt so much..i called my niece just to speak to my kids..hearing the voices..and them being so happy was awesome. Atleast I was able to havr some good 8 hour sleep.
For now, I am going to focus on getting myself out of this negative emotional state. I do small good things that makes me better..one day at a time.
Thanks for the message of support.