Diary day 3
Today is another day that I can mark off as a day free from gambling. It may only be one day but in the weeks, months and years to come these single days will mean so much. I am continuing to prove to myself that I can overcome this and this will then give me the power and belief to prove to my wife and the kids that I can do it too.
I am proud of something that I achieved yesterday and it may only seem small to people but for me it was a positive step towards the future and I proved to myself that I can do this and pick my family over this horrible addiction.
I was offered a horse in the grand national sweepstake!! I said no, no one would of known if I did but I said no. I know that it is such a small thing but it has proved to me that I can do it.
I can’t say thank you enough for all the people who are supporting my wife and the kids and me. It really means the world to me.
I am continuing looking for support and reading so much advice. I have found a book that a man wrote about how he recovered from his addiction while spending a lot of time abroad. Hopefully it will arrive soon and give me some more tools to help me defeat this.
I also received a video in a msg today! The words that are said in it are incredibly emotional and motivational and I will watch it a lot I am sure of that.
From now on I will live everyday like it is my last!! I want to make my loved ones happy again and that is what I want to be remembered for, not my addiction.
If people tell me I can’t do it well I sorry but I can and will beat this!!! My competitive nature isn’t always my best characteristic but it will help me to win this battle.
I have a lot to give in the future I know that and I will be there to help my kids learn from my mistakes and hope for them not to make the same ones. No matter what happens in there life’s I will be there for them.
I know that these are only words, but I am continuing to look for support and read and get help. I know that everyone at home can’t see what I do but I have now heard what words can do if said in the right way. I will come through and I will prove I can do it.
My future is not written yet so it’s up to me to write it and it is going to be a much better future with my mind in the right place controlling it. I will connect the dots that held my happy past together again and bring them in to the future.
Fear of this not working could destroy me before I start but I won’t allow fear to do this. Fear may make other people decide things too but we should try and not let fear pick our future our heart should do that.
Thank you all for your support and continually help without you all this journey would be so much harder.