Just for today I didnt gamble, today is day 2 gamble free, last day gambled Sunday 11th September 2016, this is it this time, I honestly cant go where my next bet takes me again, I know saying this is putting immense pressure on myself but it isnt because I cant go down that road anymore, “I have caught the last bus back to the main road and the driver said thats it the route is now obsolete if you go down there again there is no way back” I have took that journey way to many times and in truth I am very lucky to still be in the world!
I promise you all when I dont gamble I am not a bad person and deep down have a good heart, but when I choose to gamble I am the worse person in the world and in truth I hate the person I become, it sounds very extreme but the only way I can describe it is like Jekyll & Hyde………….
I am a compulsive gambler, I have been in and out of recovery for about 6 years now, I wont lie before this time I didnt want to stop gambling and didnt want recovery but for the last 6 years I have wanted recovery and really wanted to stop, something clicked for me and although I havent stayed stopped I know recovery will always be the place for me and I will always keep fighting this addiction until the day I depart from the world.
2 days gamble free and I already feel I am getting the real me back, thanks to everyone for all your ongoing help and support, I wish each and everyone of you all the very best in your recovery and life.
Maverick