Relapsed again after 5 weeks.
I have been too afraid and busy to look at my bank account but I probably lost another 3000 euro. I know it will be close to 0.
This time I got enough. I have self excluded from casinos and online bookmakers and will not be able to gamble anymore for a year. I should have done this 5 weeks ago! If I managed to login and won they wouldn’t payout my “jackpot” so now I just can not gamble. It doesn’t matter if I want, I can’t.
(To upload other peoples ID to be able to gamble and such things is something I could never do, things like that and take out a loan to gamble is something I would never be able to do).
I feel relieved..It’s all over! No more thoughts about gambling, I can not gamble anymore! Best decision ever.
In some way it’s pointless to write now that I can’t gamble anymore BUT because I need to self exclude again in exactly 1 year from now and because I hope to show others that they can overcome this addiction, I will update regularly.
Besides this relapse I’m doing much better than I was 5 weeks ago. Actually, I follow my plan and move forward each day.
My plan contains three areas:
1. Financial recovery
2. Study/Career
3. Personal life
This relapse is clearly a retrogression in terms of (1) but I have still progressed in terms of (2) and (3) so I’m (mostly) moving forward.