So today has gotten off in an odd way.
I haven’t gambled anything since let’s say 9pm Friday, and to be honest I haven’t yet had the gripping temptation to just pop into the bookies on the way back. I have a job I do sometimes at the weekend tutoring, it pays well and today I’ll have £150 cash in my hand leaving the building. I have to walk past 2 bookies on the way back…. If I could tell you the number of times that’s been my first stop after tutoring and I’ve lost every penny…. It makes the job pointless really doesn’t it. Well not today. Today that money is going straight into savings because I’m not a gambler any more.
I had some weird dreams last night about a roulette wheel spinning and playing roulette, isn’t it funny how those dreams are always about winning and never about the crushing feel of a big loss. I lost £620 on Friday but the £150 I’ll get today feels like such a huge sum to me whereas that £600 at the time was just like ‘oh well’.
Thanks for everyone’s support and I’ll drop a message later this evening when I’m back and hopefully clean for another day.