Thanks guys.
It was a concious decesion. I wanted to help myself because I wanted to avoid applying for a new high interest loan. I failed. As if casinos are willing to part with their money! I wish I stopped at 150 euro loss though, but I didn’t. I didn’t enjoy the gambling, I was nervous, agitated and only wanted to win. After this ordeal that took place Sunday, the difference now is that I have to take out a 2000 euro high interest loan instead of a 1500 euro high interest loan the reason being I need to catch up on what I’m behind on and draw the line to be able to budget on a monthly basis.
The good news is I can still afford my horses, and I need them because they’re my life line. The bad news is everything else has to be on a very strict and tight budget. I also need to keep my bank transactions free of gambling sites for the next 3 months in order to be elegible for a lower interest loan to refinance my debts if wanted. I talked to a financial counselor today, there was no use of postponing this even though I had been dreading it.
I’m not going to start counting my gamble free days from day 1. I’m still on day 16 of my recovery, even if I gambled. I started training horses and riding frequently again so I did learn something – how to fill up my time in a less destructive and a satisfying way.
My high interest loan will go through tomorrow, and even though I hate getting one, it will relieve some of the financial stress I’m going through. Because THAT I’m having a hard time handling and it is urging me to gamble.
Another good thing is, I’ll be earning some extra money August and my father will be giving me some money for my annual car repairs June. Thank God he always has extra. As much as I hate relying on others, I really need the help.