So, I am collecting new regrets. I started a post on this site on 18 Feb – and 6 weeks later I am still feeling sorry for myself. And in that 6 weeks I have relapsed 4 times, each time worse than the last – and that has sent me off worse. I am in such a mental state – my head is such a mess. I just don’t know how I will cope with the mess I am have made of my life. I know I am not the only person to think like this, but why oh why did I not get help for my gambling when I first realised I had a problem in 2012. Granted I only just started gambling, so part of me did not think I had a problem, but Jesus – I knew it last year. how could I allow it it control me like this and ruin my life. I have to make something good come from this.
I cannot blame all of my problems on gambling, but I am sure if I had not been gambling i would have been thinking straight. I can remember when the gambling sped up a notch last year in July, that is when y decision making started getting very stupid.
There are so many things I could have done to have avoided the sitiation I find myself in – but I guess that is the CGs way. We will screw everything up. This is fascinating, how we destroy ourselves.
Anyway, I am going to start a new thread soon as I have hit 2 weeks now of not gambling. And It think it is the hardest 2 weeks of my life. I have gone longer than 2 weeks of not gamblin before, but in those times I knew I could gamble if I wanted. Also, I wasn’t staring the end of everything I hold dear.
I really just want to get to grips with my situation, more than anything.
If anyone has any advice on how to deal with the regret, that would be amazing. HOw to move on.
Love to all