SO as an addition, I want to say how sorry I am to myself. I know I looked for a way around net nanny, and of course I found it. And then instead of letting my partner know I found a way around it, I gambled. Because I am a CG, And even though I finished up and managed to tale the money out, more damage is done to my life. Another day lost feeling like shit. Why do I keep doing this?
I have ordered the EasyWay to Quit Gambling and other books, and I am going to make this a new RockBottom.
If anyone out there has any tips on how to cope with a relapse, I am all ears. I know I am in control, but for some reason despite knowing all of this I still give in to the urges.
I feel like such an idiot for doing this over and over again. I am ruining everyone’s lives and I do not know why. Why can’t I just stop and focus on what is important: family, happiness, achieving things. Why have I gambled constantly with such destruction for 3 years, when I KNEW I should stop. I knew as soon as I started online poker I was addicted, but I didn’t take it seriously. It’s as if I had to wreck everything before I stopped. I just don’t get that. How can I, a relatively intelligent person, let it all go like that. And now I will soon have nothing and will have to start again.
I am going to GA tonight to get advice and start the process again. I think now I have to take this very seriously. My business will soon be bust, I will be bankrupt, I will be alone and all of this because of gambling and a very immature way of life.
I know there are people who have faced similar problems to mine, so any words of wisdom would be wonderful.
I wish everyone a gamble free day, and I promised to post everyday with news of my continued abstinence, and the rebuilding of my life.
Love to all