after my positive and determined decision last night i woke up wanting to gamble, since my relapse after 175 days i have been gambling hardcore, winning,losing but always eventually losing. i think this time around is going to be harder as i want a “quick fix” to my finances. i am going to try and write in my journal when i get the urge to maybe remind myself of the consequences because when you gamble there’s always that little voice (i call him addictus) urging you to have that “one last bet” especially on a saturday, today is my favourite day for football. i have the opportunity to do overtime between now and xmas. i figured that if i did 10 extra days then that would contribute to a lot of my losses. it also puts those losses into real terms as the thought of working so much is depressing. maybe it will put gambling into some perspective.
