Its taken me a few days to reply or post again. For a few reasons really but mainly because my thoughts are a constant battleground at the minute with no two days the same.
Firstly, White Tara, thank you for your words and I’m sorry that you have had such a stressful time with your CG. I’m glad that you have saved yourself and are taking care of you as your number 1. It took me a little while to reply to you as some of what you said hit home and i found myself reading your post in a million different ways. I totally agree with your comment “He himself may not be a monster but the gambling most certainly is.” It is a monster that I cant wait to rid of, in whatever form that may take.
I am currently reading up on codependency and this is something which I have been discussing on the helpline and I am looking forward discussing more in counselling.
Its amazing how coming to the realisation that there is something which I am struggling with, which needs to be explored more, completely washed over me until it was really pointed out to me (and i then went looking for an answer). Maybe I’m a hypocrite. I worry about my CG being in denial of his problems, when it was the same for me too.
This is the path to making me stronger and I’m excited to rid myself of constant stress and self-destruction and maybe actually manage to be happy. Fingers crossed!