I’ve been following your thread with interest Maverick!
Just a few quick comments.
Last night will either make or break you!
I felt for a while you were “aping”others. (I used to do that too-try to be a “big shot in the ‘kips’ they call casinos. The Big spender, The “whale”) HA!!
Gambling has very little to do with money, Maverick. I won’t type what I lost in monetary terms (I’ve learned that it can be a trigger for myself and others to do that on a CG Recovery site)
What I will highlight is my “real” losses!
My pride/dignity/confidence/friends/relationships/hope(sometimes)/health/self respect/trust/ability to sleep/enjoyment of simple things/real people etc etc…..
Get the picture?
It gutted me that you were having “another go” when your wife was feeding the baby this morning…..not judging, it just isn’t fair and you know it!!
That’s what gambling does to us . Turns us into selfish , uncouth brutes, and I can tell from reading your “blog” that that’s not the real you at all, Maverick. You are gentle and sensitive ad caring… A blind man could read between the lines you have written! Maverick. Think how you would feel if your wife was acting as you are. I always say there is only one thing worse than being a CG, and that is having to live with one. I would not live with ME!!!
Look at the consequences now while you still have a roof over your head.
Forget about having a “casino experience”. Yes, it will give you a buzz, a thrill, an adrenaline rush , but at what cost?
When we take the drug, we suffer the hangover Mav!
Believe me when I was the last customer, clinging on to the slot machines that had hypnotized me and drawn out my last cent, with the attendant calling time, I too often felt very like one of the hookers JD refers to.
Used and abused!
You and I have crossed the line Mav. There is no going back.
Raise your eyes to heaven and Surrender. Every word I say to you I also say to myself….
Words mean very little really
ACTION is what counts.
Draw a line under this madness Mav and move on
It will end in bitter tears!
