Charlster, you are doing so well mate. I take strength from what you have managed to do, which is resist the urge, understand, cope with it, reason with it even. I went to GA yesterday and many people mentioned the GN. Like Cheltenham, a massive trigger for those that enjoyed the nags.
Well done, you are a inspiration. I hope you hear from GMA soon with a place. Call them if you have not heard anything yet. I have my 2 week assessment starting in 5 weeks, and I cannot wait though I have lots to do before I can attend, such as closing the office etc. It will be good to take a holiday from the company, espcially if I have put it to sleep calmy, with no suprises waiting. That means contacting all the creditors to let them now the score (maybe just that I have been decsribed as clinically depressed).
I kind of hope we are there together, but I know it will be good for me. i am going to take this opportunity with both hands, as gambling is a sympton of a deeper malaise. I know that now. I gambled to escape feelings, emotions, actions – I certainly didn’t gamble to win. I might have done at some point, but towards the end I gambled to destroy myself for one reason or another. That’s the only explanation for doing what I did which was irrational.
Keep safe mate, and keep posting.