Charlester, I feel so much of your pain is my pain too. I cannot begin to understand the complexity of the sitiuation you are in, but you are doing the right things. Get yourself ready for GMA. Do you have a start date yet? I know that I could conceivably keep the office going, but it would require me to be 100% which I am not. When I am on a full tank I am charming, funny, good at what I do, I listen carefully etc etc. At the moment I would come across as desperate to any potential new clients, I would be scrabbling around in the dark, feeling the same pressures with the business.
We just took a van load of stuff to the storage space and have one left to do. I’ve had this opffice for nearly 6 years – it was my second home. It was also a place I came to gamble – prentending to work. On weekend, late evening. There are so many memories here but I know I have to move on if I am to fulfil my porntial.
I am an addict, there are no 2 ways about it – as are you. Addiction brings depression, self esteem issues, low confidence. Without treating the cause of our depression – gambling and what it has done – we can’t move on. As you say, we would only be papering over the cracks.
Harry makes some good points – talk to people, let them know the truth. WHo cares what they think. I am telling everyone I have a gambling problem but that I am addresssing it. Almost everyone I tell tells me they know someone who has or had a problem too. It is more common than you think. We are lucky that we are doing something about it. I never want to feel like this again – I am still coming to terms with the reality, but I must as must you.
All my thoughts are with you.
Take care and don’t gamble, it won’t solve anything at all.