Thank you for your message Steev. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness. I have been in counseling as well as groups. I have educated myself by watching programs and reading numerous books on the subject. I have talked to family and even asked for help with controlling my finances. I have followed peoples journals on this forum for inspiration including yours for a couple years. I know that I need to make changes but I just don’t know what to do any more. I think that a complete break from everything like rehab may help but I’m so afraid of not being there for my child. She’s an adult now but still a little one and would not understand where Mama went. I don’t want to wait until change is forced upon me as it will be if I can’t get myself together. I feel everything unravelling more and more each day. I want to create positive change for myself but I can’t seem to think clearly any more. I’m so sick of myself and this vicious circle.
