Sorry to hear about your loss. Everyone here will relate to you posts on many levels. The shock you are experiencing right now will fade in time. The loss will become a memory but the “Compulsive Gambler” in you will never go away.
I struggled with your last question for a long, long time.
“IF I had walked away with my last ‘win’ would everything be different?”
The answer lies in the realisation that a CG N E V E R wins. Every ‘win’is a new ‘high interest loan’ to allow us to prolong the agony as we watch this progressive disease pull us down . It may take months. It may take years . The outcome for a CG is inevitable. After years of battling/hoping/praying/defying all the odds, gambling got me in the end.
The first step in Recovery is to “admit I am powerless over gambling”. As soon as we accept this fact , we will surrender.
It’s all about surrender.
I can give you a 100%guarantee that if you chase your loss, the money you have invested will vanish.
My advice to you (and to me)is to have NO access to cash.
Like you, I was wiped out. I checked and rechecked my bank account in disbelief last March after a huge loss and to this day I can’t figure how that hard earned money disappeared into cyber space so fast. It nearly killed me! After 15 years of losing all my salary and all I could borrow on the strength of my earnings, this was my greatest loss.
It is not stupidity. It is the reality of gambling. Due to the nature of the disorder we will keep gambling until we lose everything.
Money is the very least of what gambling takes. I would say to you now , draw a line under your losses today and walk away. There is no point in continuing this futile chase. It will end in bitter tears.
“Compulsive gamblers never win”.
Let that be your mantra.
