I tried and am trying but so much has gone in and I have a messed up life anyway. Even if a little bit was fixable I would go with that and try to build. But partner is coming back from France tomorrow and I cannot face the conversations and the knowing that it won’t be the same again. I know my family want to help and have. But I have let them down and cannot live with the handouts and pity I will get from now on. My daughter has been great and regret everything that has got me to this position. It’s hard and impossible for me to continue the downward spiral. It is not thier fault it is mine and nothing they tried to help me big time. They are not to blame themselves whatsover. I am. And i messed up not only last week but years before that. My family would take a big bursen to continue to support me especially as i will lose my job soon and then what happens. It’s way too complicated to fix, and that’s without trying to fix me. I’m sorry sorry sorry.
I am not myself and depresion coupled with anxiety coupled with compulsive gambling and the way it has unbelievably gone lately is the ultimate killer. So downhill very very quickly.
Thankyou all who have tried to help. And continue please as you might catch others before they fall too low.
