Hi
I get a lot of what you have been saying. Good move to get counselling and ban yourself.
I have done and it helps for sure. You can talk about reasons that make you want to gamble and get your feelings out there. It’s obviously not like taking a car to the garage, where you are going to come out “fixed” quickly, it will take time and everybody will be different.
It’s something I should have done years ago.
Like you I get urges that come in waves. I can feel positive that I can stop, that things can turn around and that in time everything can be so much better.
Then I get times that I feel really bad and think about all the times I could have stopped. Maybe another go might win some money back and I would feel better.
I come on here when I feel like that, read back through my own post and look at other posts, to remind me that gambling just causes us more misery and pain.
Keep trying to look forwards.
I have done quite a bit of rock climbing in my time, though not lately as I have been too consumed by all this.
I liken it now to looking at a cliff face. There are two possible routes up.
One is hard, beyond our ability but we keep trying and keep falling off, we think it is the quickest way up, we want to try and prove ourselves in some way. On this route we have also hit the ground and hurt ourselves many times.
The other route is more straightforward, lots of attainable moves, there are even some bolts we can clip onto for support. Maybe it is more boring but it still leads to the top.
I finally have realised which route I need to take!
Take care buddy
