bummer! My post i made yesterday isn’t here. I must not have hit enter or something. So I’ll say some of it again! Thank-you Vera for your post! It was very insightful, made me think more about paying myself back. It may be a little at a time but an incentive for something better. Friends of ours have asked us to go south next winter to a resort. Money put in the slots could be money towards a trip. Just another small reason not to gamble on top of all the big important ones. I need to remember how desperate i once was. So very desperate. Suicidal. Thinking all kinds of crazy things to get money to cover up what I had done. I mean things like thinking about kidnapping, break and enter. I’m a middle aged career woman who has physical disabilities. Not your typical criminal. But at the time, when I was at the bottom of the huge gambling pit of despair I had created, these thoughts seemed almost normal. My thought process is pretty normal these days, but slowly there has been some warping due to the dabbling in gambling I’ve been doing. We desperately needed a new set of tires for the truck. In two months I gambled away enough to buy them. I normalized this, justified it in my mind at the time. Thank god I have been only able to sneak here and there for very minimal amounts of time or I might have put the house at risk AGAIN! I need to become reinvested in my recovery, my sanity. So yesterday i posted that I was going to the city. I had tried to convince hubby to come so i wouldn’t be able to go gambling. He didn’t want to come. So, I made a list that would take me enough time that i wouldn’t be able to squeak in a trip. I had to be home by 3 with the fixings for supper, hubby was cooking. I didn’t gamble. Today will be a safe day, home for the day and I don’t gamble at the local venues, too many people would talk. I am going to try and take some time for myself today. I deserve it. ODAAT
Laura
